Save energy by spending when you need to – From playing tennis this month I learned that when you’re tired you should not rest or reduce the energy levels of your game even though it is the natural thing to do. Instead you actually want to keep using energy to be aggressive and stay in control of the point because playing defensive takes more energy. When I get tired I usually scale back on my intensity to save energy, but what I learned was that in doing so I was giving up control and having to work harder to stay in the point, and therefore having to work harder in the long run. (Specifically, I have a tendency to slack off on shots when I’m tired, giving the opponent opportunities to win and forcing me to work harder to try and save myself from loosing. Instead of being forced to use energy to try and stay alive by my opponent, I should have used that energy to hit the right shot well and prevent my opponent from having a winning opportunity.) It is better to hit everything with good quality and lose than to hit everything poorly and be destined to eventually be worn out, exhausted, and lose, since you basically make it a matter of time before you lose when you lower the intensity of your game, showing weaknesses. Try to end the point earlier if you’re tired is the better strategy: slacking is the wrong one.
Balance short term with long term – While it is important to make big goals and partake in long term planning, it is equally important to stay focused on the present and win in the short term. There is no long term if you don’t win in the short term, because the short term sets you up for the first step towards your long term goals, and if you never take the first step then you can’t take the second and thus never reach your long term goal. If you know you’re going to eat a huge buffet next month, you shouldn’t starve yourself for a month because then you’d lose in the short term and never make it to that long term goal. If you have a long term goal, ask yourself if it has a short term component and whether you have that in your short term planning.
Appearance, reality, truth – Appearance is a 3rd person subjective point of view. Reality is a 3rd person objective point of view. Truth is a first person point of view. It appears that Bob likes apples because Bob said so. The reality is that Bob said so. The truth is that Bob said so because he wanted to fit in, but he actually doesn’t like apples.
Stop playing the wounded or pity card: It doesn’t make sense — The logic is this: I am handicapped so even though I’m not the best at ___, I deserve the 1st place medal anyway. Does that make sense? Would you ever give an Olympic medal to someone who is incapable of competing with the best athletes in the world, simply because that person is incapable of competing and should be compensated somehow with an award that wasn’t earned? If you’re wounded, sorry. Life is tough and you don’t always get the best cards in your hand, but you will win what your cards deserve to win, and not what they don’t deserve to win.
Stop expecting things in return – Unless you have a contract or trustworthy agreement with the other party, when you give them something, leave it at that: that you gave them something. A gift, not an exchange. Then you can manage your resources/finances and ensure that you never give what you can’t bear to lose, and then you’ll live a more stress free life, and your relationships will be less strained.