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Conquering Fear

http://www.inc.com/geoffrey-james/how-to-conquer-fear-4-mental-tricks.html  To conquer fear, focus on courage and the payoff rather than the fear.  This is an exercise in controlling your mind and controlling your thoughts and controlling your emotions.  Choose to be courageous and strive for success. However, it’s important to recognize the practical use of fear: it’s an emotion designed to protect you from danger.  Don’t mistake fear for prudence. Be prudent.

Use fears to keep you out of trouble,  but don’t let fears deter you from goals when the fears are invalid. Use your intelligent mind to determine whether the fear you are experiencing is valid in preventing you from getting hurt, or whether it’s mis-applied by your reptilian brain and can be logically and safely ignored.

An example is a fear of people.  If you were abused or bullied, it’s natural to develop a fear of people as a result of such experiences.  However, it’s important to recognize that what you want is a fear of the specific individuals who harmed you, and avoiding those specific individuals is key to future success.  That’s the practical side of fear.  The impractical side of fear is avoiding all people, including those who aren’t going to hurt you.  In those instances, it’s important to use your intelligent mind to recognize that the situation is different, and use courage and optimism to overcome that fear of people and develop meaningful connections with good people.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/09/15/conquering-fear_n_3909020.html

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/5lzs3j/what_question_do_you_hate_to_answer/dbzopca/

http://www.wikihow.com/Survive-Domestic-Violence

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Don’t Overreact

Don’t overreact.  Adapting is important, but there is such a thing as adapting TOO much, and doing so will negatively affect your own life and your relationships with others. Instead, you should adapt the appropriate amount for the given circumstances.

I used to pride myself on how many things I could change in response to feedback.  From what time I sleep to the number of grams of chicken I ate in a 72 hour period to what thoughts to think when transitioning from one task to another, I controlled every detail.  But recently I’ve noticed that small external changes were triggering huge internal changes to my life. I was overreacting. Someone would say I’m drinking to much water and I’d go from a cup per hour to a cup of water per 3 hours and get overly dehydrated.  The change was too much too soon.  Instead I should scale down in percentages: half a cup every 1.5 hours instead of jumping to 3 so soon.

Also: Don’t change your behavior on TOO many occasions. I was taking advice too often: On Monday I’d read something about the dangers of overhydration and start adjusting to a cup every 3 hours, and then on Tuesday I’d read that dehydration has risks and I’d start adjusting back to one cup every hour.  The body needs time to react, generally 3 weeks to build a new consistent lifestyle habit, so all of this constant changing was just keeping my body in a constant state of defense towards foreign and abnormal behaviors which is worse for my health overall.

Not only is this bad for me personally, but it reflects poorly on me to others because I wasn’t being consistent. Inconsistency makes people think you’re unreliable and undependable, both qualities that will lose you relationships.  If on Monday I convince everyone to drink less water and on Tuesday I change my stance, eventually by Wednesday they’ll learn to just not listen to my advice.  And I don’t want that. So I need to have patience and take my time both in making the choice to make a change and in the execution of that change.

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