Find yourself: Philosophically, identity is born out of details pertaining to the same identity and descriptions of details pertaining to the same identity. What this means is that your identity is formed out of what exists. If you were never born and you never existed, then you have no identity. If you’re born, then all the details associated with your birth are now a part of your identity. As you grow up, you have life experiences which add more details to your identity. As you interact with others, you generate more details and descriptions of details, all of which comprise your identity. That was a long winded way of saying you create your identity by having details, and you have details by living life. If you stay at home all day and do nothing, or every day you do precisely the exact same routine, then your identity is unchanging. It is only when you add a detail that you grow your identity. If you find that you don’t have an identity, it means you haven’t accumulated enough details yet, so go out and live life: that’s how you find out who you are. (Dangerous cycle: depression -> doing nothing -> actually having no life -> feeling like no life -> depression.)
When you start, all experiences may seem foreign to you: it is difficult to distinguish between when you are acting according to what everyone else is doing, and when you are expressing yourself. When you try something new, you can either give yourself fully to the activity and act exactly as everyone else expects you to act, so that you can get the full experience of what that kind of identity is like, or you can restrain yourself to different degrees of what you are comfortable with doing. Anything works.
When you reflect upon your own life and it’s details, that’s how you come to understand who you are. As you look back, you’ll see where you were willing to compromise, and where you stood your ground: those locations define who you are.
When you try to change and influence your future behavior, that’s how you construct who you are. (The Habits You Will Form in Life)