Category Archives: Conversation

Conversations Friendship

A collection of indicators of friendship that can be found through conversation.

Example 1: Bob mentions he has been promoted, but is concerned and tired at the large amount of work he has now been given.

  • Acquaintance response: congrats on the promotion!  Surface level conversation about positive issues
  • Friend response: how are you feeling?  Caring conversation about deeper issues; feeling the friend’s concern and exhaustion and empathizing.

If you don’t know what to say, think of a compliment and say it.

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Eye Contact

I once ran into two groups of people, a group of friends walking behind a group of strangers.  I looked with no facial expression at my friends, then looked at the group in front.  Then smiled a bit in the general direction of the 3+ people I knew and then walked by them.  This was rude and super fail eye contact–if you are friends, you should greet each other respectively.  From their perspective, they saw me staring in their direction, then away, then smiling randomly towards them without eye contact–I made none of them feel like I recognized or acknowledged them personally.

That is the power of eye contact: to let someone know that you are who they are focusing on.  People will like you more if you make eye contact with them, and the interaction will feel more genuine.  That’s not to say you can’t look away during a conversation, but it does mean that you should be careful about how you look away, because your body language may communicate that you are disinterested or not paying attention.

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Factors that Influence a Conversation

People:

  • What your relationship is to each person in the conversation
  • What you know about each person in the conversation
  • What does each person know about you
  • What do you want them to know or not know, to think or not think, about you

Mood:

  • What is the mood of each person in the conversation
  • What is the mood of the group
  • What mood are you in

Purpose:

  • What is the purpose of the conversation
  • What is the purpose of the gathering of people
  • What do you want out of the conversation
  • What do you know or think people involved want out of the conversation

Communication and Conversation Topics:

  • What is the background of each person, such as what language are they most familiar with, what slang, what references, what life experiences?
  • What is appropriate to mention, what is not

Full List of Conversation Resources

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