Confidence

Confidence comes from within.  If you have an external source of confidence, it is only a source of confidence because you internally recognized it as such.  For example, if being a champion at chess is something all the kids at school make fun of you for, you might not feel confident at all as a result of your chess ability.  However, if everyone you know respects your chess ability, then you may feel confident because of it.  The same thing is true about money, status, and anything else that society, friends, family, yourself, puts value into: it only has value if you acknowledge it.

Personal story: I used to have clothes I liked that gave me confidence when I wore them.  Years later, those exact same clothes no longer gave me confidence because my sense of style changed.  I had a friend give me a make over, and even though other people agreed with my friend’s style, acknowledging that it was a good one, I personally did not agree with it.  So even though I could get compliments externally about my clothing style, because the style was not my own, and I did not acknowledge it, I still felt unconfident.

There is a difference between acting confident, and being confident.  People often suggest you achieve confidence by faking it until you make it.  Acting confident gives you the experiences to understand and gain actual confidence, and it can make you confident over time, but acting alone does not give you confidence.

Resources

How do Ladies Perceive Confidence in a Guy - Reddit

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