Category Archives: Life Lessons

Be the Driver of Your Car

Lately I’ve been feeling tired and I don’t know where my time is going. I don’t feel like I’m doing very much, yet I’m exhausted. Also, I don’t know what I’m doing. Did I mention I don’t know where my time is going? I feel lost and confused, like I don’t have control and I don’t have a map and I don’t have any skills. Do you know what I’m talking about?

If you’re feeling this way, this is the article for you.

The way we are getting out of this feeling is by using driving as a symbol and analogy for our life. If you are in the driver’s seat of a car, what would you do?

The first thing to do as the driver is to take action. As the driver, the car goes where you tell it to go. If someone else takes the wheel from you, then you are no longer the driver. Sitting in the driver’s seat does not make you the driver. Taking the action of controlling the car’s direction makes you the driver. You must take action to be the driver of your life.

The second thing to do as the driver is to make decisions. Make decisions in your life. Don’t let other people make decisions for you. You decide where you are going to take your car. They can tell you they want to go to the bathroom, or to visit their favorite restaurant, or see a park, but you are the final decision maker. You are the driver: make the final decision.

The third thing to do as the driver is to always be moving. A car that isn’t moving is not being driven: it’s a parked car. Don’t be a parked car going no where in life and panicking at what you’re seeing out of the tiny windows you’re looking out of. Keep Moving.

The fourth thing to do as the driver is to clean your windows. See the world, as much of it as you can. Take in information so you know where to go, whether there is danger up ahead or not, and whether to take this detour or not. The circumstances of the world around you are constantly changing, so be on the look out and keep your eyes open.

The fifth thing to do as the driver of your car is to take care of your car. Take it to maintenance, to the shop, for oil changes, purchase insurance

The sixth thing to do as the driver of your car is to equip it so you are read for the road ahead. Stock it with snacks and water and comforts while driving and equipment for the activities you’ll have along the way.

The seventh thing to do as the driver of your car is to do your research and plan ahead. Buy a map, make advanced phone calls, get feedback and input from others. Plan your trip so it goes smoothly with less surprises.

The eight thing to do as the driver of your car is to make advanced purchases. This goes hand in hand with planning ahead: When you make a plan, pre-purchase things you know you will need in locations you expect to be. Make your journey a pleasant one. Give yourself 5 star customer service and take care of every detail you can.

The ninth thing to do as the driver of your car is to influence the world around you positively in the direction of your goals. Ask for things from the world: you will be surprised at how often you will get what you ask for. And you will not be surprised when you don’t get what you didn’t ask for.

The tenth and final thing to do as the driver of your car is to control the attitude, personality, values, integrity, tone, and atmosphere of your environment. Be calm. You are in a car, it’s safe in here. The world is out there. You can’t always control the external world, but the inside of the car is yours to take control of. Take control of it.

Life Lessons July 2014

7/29/14 When you can’t think of what to say #conversationSkills just compliment the person. That’s how I greeted someone and he warmed up to me instantly and I wasn’t even trying.
Some people think to be encouraging to others they have to show disappointment and say things like “you’re not good enough.” They think this kind of encouragement is a way of showing love.
To the people who encourage this way: I think the act of showing disappointment and making negative statements is not encouragement and is not love.  I think a more effective way to encourage others is to speak the intent: I want to encourage you to do better.
To the people receiving this kind of treatment: I think it’s important to recognize the limitations of other people. They don’t know any better way to encourage, and that’s why they do it this way.  It’s not right, but it’s the best they can do.
7/23/14  I am too narrow minded sometimes in my communication: either they have to say the exact line in my head, or else it’s not acceptable.  This is especially true when it comes to love: I only look for what I want to hear, and even when they try I don’t accept it if it isn’t exactly what I demand.
It’s important to recognize the way of expressing is different from person to person due to language, culture, values, etc. So rather than focusing on the words being said, look past them to the message being communicated
7/22/14 my mom would accuse me of not loving her if I ever said no.  This is different with with healthy people: you can say no and still love someone.  Healthy people allow for no.
Resentment is an offloading of responsibility to the other person.  If you take responsibility for your actions and for your consequences, you can’t resent someone else, it wasn’t their fault, it was yours.  Same with passive aggressive behavior: it is your choice, not the other person’s fault.
7/20/14 A large barrier to my success has been to underestimate complexity: just looking from the outside, it’s hard to get a sense of how complicated things can get.  But once you know, then you can adapt.  Specific story: I tried to start a website, but I refused to use any pre-existing code or theories like databases or algorithms, believing that I could and should rebuild the wheel from scratch.  While I could do it my way, I didn’t understand the sheer number of man hours that went into what we have today, the millions of hours of toil to get to this point. There’s no way one man can achieve it all in one’s lifetime.  Therefore, to succeed in this world, you cannot make your own way completely independent of society and civilization: you must stand on the shoulders of giants. We have come a long way since sticks and stones.
7/15/14 Waking up is extremely important to set your life on track–everything is thrown off if you wake up late.  Your day is further thrown off if you eat late. You need energy to function so always eat.
7/14/14 Lack of skill does not mean lack of love.  If someone does something for you poorly, but out of love: it’s love.  Don’t criticize judge or be ungrateful.
7/4/14 I used to think scholarships were people trying to use me. The distinction is in how much you participate in the formation of the goals. If you set the goal, then they are using you in one sense, but you are letting them in another. If you’re going to be used, it’s better to be used in the way that you want to be used. Then it can be more of a partnership where you both get what you want.
7/2/14 STOP LABELING YOURSELF: don’t bring your insecurities into your life and relationships.  I keep labeling myself as poor: stop it.  Just say: I have this much money, period. It doesn’t mean poor, it doesn’t mean rich, it just is.

Life Lessons Jan 10 2018

Opportunities expire really quickly so take them when you can

A few months ago I went to a bitcoin talk and was recommended Monero.  I was convinced and would buy Monero, but was too lazy to do anything with the information.  As a result, Monero quadrupled in value while bitcoin only doubled in value. I had the opportunity, but I was slow to act, and so I missed it.


If you are unhappy today, act in such a way that you will be happy tomorrow.

Often times when I’m unhappy, I don’t feel like doing anything and so I don’t.  This is a problem because you likely don’t feel good today because of what you did yesterday.  If you don’t take care of yourself today, then you are setting yourself up to feel bad tomorrow.  And if you always respond to sadness in such a way that the next day will be sad, then you are trapping yourself in an infinite loop of sad days.

Even if you don’t feel like doing anything and you aren’t happy, you should still move and do work.  When you feel bad because of what happened in the past, realize that you can’t change the past, but you can change the future, so act in such a way that you will be happy tomorrow.

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