The life guard rule states that if the person you try to save is pulling you down and you realize you are both going to drown, then the right thing to do is to escape from that person and let them drown while saving yourself. If you stay, there are two deaths. If you leave, there is one death.
This is a great guiding principle for life in general. Do your best to help others, but if you’re going to die trying, do not die trying.
“Expecting people to do what you would do in a situation only leads to your disappointment, not theirs, they’re going on in their life. So let people be who they are and either you accept it or you don’t. The person on the other side of the bitterness you are holding onto are not even thinking of you. They probably just moved on. They certainly aren’t obsessing like you are. Letting go of any bad habit that isn’t serving you: not an easy road. Taking the road to more enlightened healthy existence never is.
Ask yourself: Why are you holding onto this? How is this serving me? Maybe it makes you feel validated, feel righteous, or maybe taking on the pain is your way of recognizing the injustice so that even if it’s not going to be made right at least it won’t be forgotten.
Do you want to be right? Or do you want to have peace? The unfortunate fact is having both may not be possible. You may never get your moment of righteousness so choose peace. Time is always moving on and is our most valuable commodity. So staying in that loop of playing it over and over only amplifies your pain. Let it go. Lighten your load. “ – Oprah
Difficulties: Don’t ask “Why is this Happening” and instead ask “What is this here to teach me?” “What is this here to teach me?” It puts you in the lace to get what you need. Don’t react against a bad situation, merge with that situation instead and the solution will arise from the challenge.
When you are hurt, it’s easy to hurt others because you are too focused on yourself to notice what you are doing to the people around you.
Heal yourself. It’s not only good for you, it’s good for the people around you.
For me, I always like to put other people ahead of myself, and this is a consistent problem for me because it means I don’t take good care of myself. When I don’t take good care of myself I become unhealthy physically, mentally, and emotionally, and this causes me to be unperceptive and unresponsive, which is not pleasant for those around me. So if you are like me and you like to prioritize other people, realize now together with me that in order to treat others well, you must be healthy. So you must take care of yourself first in order to achieve your goal of helping others.
Healing yourself and taking care of yourself should be the #1 priority, always.