Achieving Greatness: Managing Stress

Thanks free-photos-242387 for the image

How do you do well in stressful situations?

Recently I’ve been feeling very stressed out about competing with exceptional individuals. I have been out of the game for a while and I have a lot of self doubt, imposter syndrome, insecurities, and questions and concerns over how I will perform. I know the stress isn’t good for my health, and I know stress isn’t good for performance, so I know I need to address and reduce my stress in order to succeed. Back when I was in the game, some 10+ years ago, I was at the top, achieving greatness with no real feelings of stress. All I did was focus, execute, exceed expectations. So today I wondered: What did I do back then that I’m not doing today? In this article, I share my thoughts:

When I focus on the competition, I get stressed out. What are they doing? Are they better than me? How close to catching up to me are they?

When I focus on the outcome, I get stressed out. I can visualize what I want but I don’t see it in reality today, ahh! I know what details will tell me I’m done, but I don’t see those details now so that means I’m failing, ahh! After I achieve this, I can achieve even more by doing this and that. Wow, look at all the things I can’t have right now, ahh!

When I focus on the present reality, on the details that are true about today, on the actions that I can take today, I feel in control of the situation, I feel in control of my future, I feel in control.

When I trust my instincts and my training and my decisions, I am at peace knowing that this is the best I can do and if I succeed then it’s because of all the work prior to today and if I fail it’s because there’s more for me to learn in order to get what I desire.

When I accept the idea that there is more to learn, that I might not have attained the skills and knowledge and resources yet to succeed, but I have the opportunity to fail and recover stronger and try again, I can be at peace with the outcome.

At the end of the day, to succeed, there is only you and the present reality you are in. Direct your energy, attention, and focus there and you will achieve great things.

Have Better Conversations

Politeness is a measure of wealth. If people treat you well, you tend to treat others well. If people treat you badly, you tend to treat others badly.

People aggregate around what is familiar and comfortable. So people who treat each other badly find each other and continue the cycle of abuse. People who treat each other well find each other and continue the wealth inequality.

the conversation topic and the perspective on the world and the emotions displayed express your wealth.

topic: work stress vs vacation plans. Poor people complain about how work sucks. Rich people talk about all the opportunities they’re considering for vacation.

perspective: out of control, blame others vs in control, decision difficulty. Poor people talk about coping with problems caused by other people. Rich people talk about making decisions that affect other people.

emotions: needing validation so fixating on details vs healthy so jumping from topic to topic without emotional attachment or triggers. Poor people want to be heard and understood: they seek empathy. Rich people want their problems fixed: they seek solutions.

SF Chinatown 2019