Category Archives: Dating

2 Secrets to Better Relationships

TO have a healthy relationship,

self control


Attention span: focus. on their own life as well as during your date

delayed gratification 

planning: ability to make a plan and stick to it

achievement: finish what they start


What do you want

What will you give in return

assess dates

train dates to your preferences

Personality, honesty, character, values = attractiveness

Poor Judgment Associated with Dating

Everything from Common Relationship Mistakes and the following:

  • Not being nice does not make you mean.  Not being nice makes you neutral; being mean makes you mean.  You are not required to give the optimum response to everything, even though American Capitalist Culture stresses it.  Similarly, if someone doesn’t like you, it doesn’t mean they dislike you.
  • If someone likes money, you can’t fault them for being a bad person, just like if someone likes oranges and you hate oranges, you can’t fault them for being a bad person.  They are a bad person for the reasons that they have for liking or not liking something, and for the actions they take to get what they want–gold digging itself is not sufficient enough to make them a bad person, it is the way they go about it.
  • Do not incorrectly label someone as a player/slut; judge them for who they are (How to Judge People), rather than stereotype them.  It could be that they are like Ted Mosby from the TV Show How I Met Your mother, willing to try to fall in love over and over, a trait that is to be admired.  If they are flirty, they could just be playing the numbers game–not everyone is a match, so you need to keep trying until you find one.
  • Some people believe in a significant other in the same way people believe in God, that there exists someone else who could solve all your problems and make things wonderful for you.  Unfortunately, if that’s all you have to offer, you’re basically a charity case, where you take and aren’t secure enough to give back–a one sided relationship.  It is better to solve enough of your own problems to love yourself and be independent first, and then search for an equally mature partner.  (“A partner is a virtue of a life well lived, not something that you find to give your life meaning.” from reddit)

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