- Look at failure as a good thing because “If you aren’t failing, you aren’t even trying.” – Denzel Washington.
- The story that illustrates this is: In the city of Oxford there was a flood during a rainstorm and the water rose slowly. A boy’s foot was stuck in a grate and as the water rose he drowned despite everyone trying to save him. The lesson is: cut off the foot and live. Sometimes you must cut off some part of yourself in order to grow and live. https://www.facebook.com/reel/176137742131262?fs=e&s=TIeQ9V&mibextid=0NULKw
- Only take advice that applies to your specific circumstances.
- Their advice will most likely work when they truly understand your perspective. Ask them to describe your perspective and verify if what they say matches with what you see. If they do not understand your perspective, then it’s possible they would have given different advice had they seen your full perspective.
- Sometimes they are wiser and you can’t see what they see. If you trust they know better you can take their advice even if you don’t feel like they understand your perspective.
- This is a short animated story that shows how following someone else’s path exactly can get you in trouble because no-one’s life is the same: https://www.instagram.com/reel/CxhNStZN8l9/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
- Live with conviction.
- Ashoka the Disney+ TV Show Episode 5
- If life gets hard, a firm conviction will drive you forward and a weak conviction will give up or slow down.
- Warning: If you show vulnerability without setting expectations, you will not receive the love and support you are looking for. The default reaction to vulnerability in this world is judgment and rejection.
- If you are tired, do not show it. Excuse yourself and go rest in private. When in public, stay energetic and keep your guard up.
- As a loose rule, spend at least 100 hours with someone in many different situations over at least a 9 month period before you even think about letting your guard down. Judge their character to see if they are someone who will take advantage of people who show weakness or protect people who show weakness.
- Ask for permission before you engage in comfortable silence the first few times. Most people will feel uncomfortable if you fall silent without giving a reason, especially the first time you do it. Once you’ve explicitly gotten permission for comfortable silence several times, it’s safer because they’ve gotten to know you and you’ve gotten to know them.
- When you are investing in personal development, think of yourself like a construction project. When buildings undergo construction, they fence off the area and put warning signs so observers know what to expect and don’t walk into the construction site to cause problems. Do the same thing for yourself figuratively: put up boundaries to protect yourself while you work on yourself.
- If someone can’t see the vision of what you’re building, evict them from your construction site. Don’t let them hurt you from the inside while your walls are down. They may say discouraging words like it won’t work or you don’t know what you’re doing. Don’t listen to uninvited guests. You have your architect plans already. Don’t be swayed by critics who don’t have the context. Especially do not listen to critics who don’t have education, certification, or context on your needs, wants, and situation.
- Reflect on how you relate to the world in addition to how you relate to people. Have a good relationship with everything, not just everyone.
- Greet the act of “waking up” gently like a person. Greet the act of “going to sleep” gently like a person. Etc.
- In every moment you have a relationship with the world around you. Cherish it and act respectfully.
- Protect your time, energy, and emotions by avoiding close minded conversations
- A healthy discussion involves two sides listening and understanding each other’s point of view. Sometimes people only want you to agree, or they only want to speak and not to listen. In those cases, don’t waste your breath explaining your position, and politely minimize your time in a one-sided conversation.
- Leave a good impression with everyone you meet.
- Ensure the end feels good to both people.
- If someone disrespects you, do not let it slide. Call it out and defend yourself.
- Don’t give someone else the power to judge whether you are worthless. Remember, they are only one person with one perspective and there are many people and many perspectives. Remember they have imperfect information.
- Assert yourself and control your narrative by verbalizing your perspective.
- I used to feel and be helpless when others imposed their judgements and opinions of me on me. I learned to talk back and assert myself by describing what I think and how I see it and why. If you explain your perspective in a relatable and reasonable way with logic, then others cannot refute your position as a reputable person.
- Encouragement: You are more than this.
- You are more than just __<insert negative thought>__.
- You are greater and bigger than this small task.
- Remember, you are more.
- Do not prioritize other people’s happiness over your own. Especially do not prioritize someone’s happiness if they do not prioritize your happiness in return.
- Actively manage your relationship with people you defeat.
- People don’t like to lose. In general, strangers forget but family and friends remember. Check in with the people who lost and do what you reasonably can do to make them happy with your victory. Do not win and leave them behind: they will despise you for that behavior.
- Be kind, be gentle, be nurturing, be warm.
- Do not ask yourself to achieve the impossible and then blame and shame yourself for failing the impossible. If it was someone else, how would you give him or her patience and time to work and learn.
- Copy what works. There’s no need to re-invent the wheel.
Category Archives: Thoughts On Life
If you aren’t failing, you aren’t trying.
This is a reminder to celebrate your failures as courage, bravery, and boldness. You tried to do something you weren’t certain of succeeding at. Good for you! Some people never even try. Some people only do things they are good at. Some people live the same safe lives every day.
I love this positive perspective on failure because it encourages you to keep going and removes shame and guilt from the situation. It celebrates your willingness to try new things. It reminds you of the beautiful vision you had in the first place that caused you to act at all.
I got this reminder from Denzel Washington’s 3 reasons on why you should take risks: https://www.facebook.com/reel/186050427847587?fs=e&s=TIeQ9V&mibextid=0NULKw
March 20 Wisdom and Happy Thoughts 2023
The Person you are right now is the person you would’ve felt safe with as a kid.
Take a moment to appreciate how great it is that you brought into this world the love that was missing. You’re awesome. I hope you heal from the neglect you experienced as a child and can provide yourself with the love you need.
Mike Tyson on the Purpose of life: Is to experience life, the good and the bad. Appreciate it.
Life universe god tests you. How much of this can you take? It wants to show you something.
You want to love life? Let me show you life. Life is beautiful but you have to accept the good and the bad as beautiful. Enjoy what we have as we journey through it. What is this purpose why am I here? Why did I have to go through this pain why can’t it be peaceful all the time? Then it wouldn’t be life. We have to accept life on life’s terms.
This video shows us the importance of being interesting. Being interesting gives you a way to live your life, a way to connect with others, a way to keep going in tough times, and a way to make a home.
It tells us that being interesting is not about doing the things you like or avoiding the things you hate or pursuing labels (the mistakes many people make on their journey to be interesting). It is about developing a knowledge base of things you enjoy so that you can give people a reason to stay when they meet you because while you don’t need them, it’s nice to have people around. Being interesting also gives you a sense of who you are and what you want to do and thus how you can relate to people because life isn’t just about living to tomorrow and avoiding suffering. In the end, if tragedy occurs and you are alone, then at least you will find your own company interesting. Too interesting to give up on. Too interesting to throw away. Instead of being swayed by life and not having a place, have a place you belong. Be interesting.
Be interesting so you have an identity
3 Things to Know about an Anxious Partner
- When triggered, they can become emotional. They grew up in a house where their feelings were invalidated and ignored. They just want to be heard, they aren’t putting you down.
- When they text a lot and demand constant communication, they are scared of being alone. And abandoned. which they experienced in childhood. They are just seeking reassurance. they’re not trying to control you.
- They might subconsciously pick fights with you and push your buttons. This was the only way they could get attention as a child. And so they do this to be more connected with you emotionally. They are seeking emotional connection. They are not trying to hurt you.
If these traits trigger you, it’s possible you have avoidant attachment, which has a whole bag of problems as well.
This video shows us how as you grow up, the people you rely on who seem perfect turn out to be not as perfect as you thought. So you need to learn to accept flaws and be OK with how things are.
Life is about Life. Suffering and Happiness are both a part of life. Life isn’t just one or the other.
Splitting is a Psychological defense mechanism of turning someone into an all bad or all good person. Cancel culture and Identity politics is based on this concept where someone is fully defined by one detail and instead of viewing a person as having both healthy and unhealthy parts, your own ego decides whether they are good or bad based on whether they serve your ego or threaten your ego. So catch yourself when your Ego turns you into a defensive person who is splitting someone else’s identity unfairly.