- Be Committed to what you do
I rewatched Avatar the James Cameron Movie. The main character Jake, when he is in his Avatar, every decision he makes is life or death. Which means he is fully engaged in the present moment. There is no time to think about the past of the future: everything is about survival right now. When he makes a decision, he is also focused on solving the present problem in the present time. There is no build up of things to do later.
When I compare Jake to my life, I realize that I am not committed to my decisions: if it fails or if it succeeds, it doesn’t really change my life. It’s not life or death. I also spend much of my time thinking about the past and the future instead of being engaged in the present moment. I am not happy. Jake in the movie is happy. I should change my way of living to match Jake to be more happy.
2. It takes a warrior to know peace.
To win a war, you must understand your enemy. When you understand your enemy, you understand what makes them special. You see their beauty. You see the world through their eyes. And you no longer want to fight because you want to preserve their beauty and your own.
In war, some people numb themselves to the pain and become heartless, but it is because they have a heart that feels the pain that they become heartless. Others respond to pain by becoming more loving. People who never experience war don’t understand this at all.
3. In a healthy family, the children want to become like their parents. The children will learn from their parents. The children will imitate their parents.
I grew up in an unhealthy family. I had abusive parents. My therapists all have told me to forget everything my parents taught me in order to become a better person. I grew up trying my best never to become like my parents, and trying to prevent other people from becoming like my parents.
I always found it weird when my friends would listen to their parents and trust their parents without doubting them first. And I only now realized that for a healthy family…they don’t think like me. They don’t have to question their parents’ validity every moment, and in fact they can do the opposite: trust their parents validity every moment.
4. In conversation, proactively anticipate what they want to hear and drive the conversation in a direction that you mutually desire.
5. I want to get better at choosing the right people to care about
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