All posts by Solomon

Decide While Calm

Thoughts On Life

Stop waiting until extreme pain and discomfort to make changes and decisions. Make changes and decisions while comfortable and calm.

It’s too easy to stay in a safe and comfortable place and not move. Then only when you are uncomfortable you start making decisions and taking actions to change your situation, because you want to get back to comfort. The problem with this mindset is that you are always making decisions when you are uncomfortable. You will make better decisions when you are comfortable, safe, and with a clear mind.

It’s time to flip your behavior, and go against your natural instincts: When you feel uncomfortable, stay there and calm down before making a decision on what to do (within reason: if it’s unsafe, then get out. If it’s safe, then stay there). When you feel comfortable, make decisions on what actions you will take in future situations so your plan is sound. You will thank yourself for this one day.

Innocent until proven guilty leads to victim blaming

EndTheStigma

If a victim comes up to you and says they are emotionally abused, assume the accused is guilty until proven innocent. Put in work, effort, time, to help that victim talk through the experience. Set the expectation that they will struggle to put into words their experiences, and it is likely too horrible for them to even imagine, which is why they cannot communicate it. Furthermore, the mind’s self defense mechanisms will use denial or memory loss to erase the abusive memories from their mind. So it takes a lot of careful tact and support and an extremely psychologically safe space for them to be able to confront calmly their abuse and put it into words. Help them do this. Don’t let the abuser get away.

Help the victims, don’t victim blame.

#mentalhealth #reduceTheStigma

Innocent until proven guilty leads to victim blaming

EndTheStigma

Innocent until proven guilty is good for crime but NOT good for emotional abuse. Don’t put the burden of proof on the victim. That’s not right. 

If a victim comes up to you and says they are emotionally abused, assume the accused is guilty until proven innocent. Put in work, effort, time, to help that victim talk through the experience. Set the expectation that they will struggle to put into words their experiences, and it is likely too horrible for them to even imagine, which is why they cannot communicate it. Furthermore, the mind’s self defense mechanisms will use denial or memory loss to erase the abusive memories from their mind. So it takes a lot of careful tact and support and an extremely psychologically safe space for them to be able to confront calmly their abuse and put it into words. Help them do this. Don’t let the abuser get away.

Help the victims, don’t victim blame.

#mentalhealth #reduceTheStigma