All posts by Solomon

Understanding Humans: People Make You What They Feel

Human Nature

https://www.facebook.com/reel/891063165219567

When a kid throws a tantrum you feel powerless. That is what the kid feels.

When someone feels jealous, they will come and make you feel jealous. 

Think about what emotion you feel during a conflict with someone. That’s might be how you are making them feel. Not always, but consider the idea next time. Then you can react and manage their emotions accordingly. 

Communicate What You Want – Life Skills

Life Advice, Life Lessons, Life Skills, Relationship Building

Don’t lose the skill of describing what you want to other people.

I came from an abusive background where people ignored my requests. Every time I described what I wanted, I would either be yelled at or ignored, so I eventually learned to not describe what I want. As the years went on, I gradually lost the ability to describe what I want. I even stopped asking myself what I wanted at all.

When I moved to a healthy environment with people who were supportive and helpful, I struggled. They wanted to help me, but they didn’t know what I wanted from them and I forgot how to communicate what I want.

I started to relearn how to communicate what I wanted with baby steps.

Each of the following stages took me many attempts to learn before I could progress to the next step.

  1. I remembered to listen to my feelings at all after suppressing them for so long.
  2. I would get people’s attention when I wanted something by making a noise or taking an action.
  3. I would let them know the reason I wanted their attention is because I want something.
  4. I would try to describe what I want, and I would be misunderstood, and I would not get what I want, but at least in this step, people were trying to give me what I want.
  5. I would describe what I want accurately, and people would help me get it or direct me to others who can help me get it.

If you find yourself not getting what you want like I did, ask yourself if you are stuck in steps 2-4 where you are trying to communicate what you want, but you are actually communicating that you want something, but not what it is you want.

March 20 Wisdom and Happy Thoughts 2023

Thoughts On Life

The Person you are right now is the person you would’ve felt safe with as a kid.

Take a moment to appreciate how great it is that you brought into this world the love that was missing. You’re awesome. I hope you heal from the neglect you experienced as a child and can provide yourself with the love you need.

Mike Tyson on the Purpose of life: Is to experience life, the good and the bad. Appreciate it.

Life universe god tests you. How much of this can you take? It wants to show you something. 

You want to love life? Let me show you life. Life is beautiful but you have to accept the good and the bad as beautiful. Enjoy what we have as we journey through it. What is this purpose why am I here? Why did I have to go through this pain why can’t it be peaceful all the time? Then it wouldn’t be life. We have to accept life on life’s terms. 

This video shows us the importance of being interesting. Being interesting gives you a way to live your life, a way to connect with others, a way to keep going in tough times, and a way to make a home.

It tells us that being interesting is not about doing the things you like or avoiding the things you hate or pursuing labels (the mistakes many people make on their journey to be interesting). It is about developing a knowledge base of things you enjoy so that you can give people a reason to stay when they meet you because while you don’t need them, it’s nice to have people around. Being interesting also gives you a sense of who you are and what you want to do and thus how you can relate to people because life isn’t just about living to tomorrow and avoiding suffering. In the end, if tragedy occurs and you are alone, then at least you will find your own company interesting. Too interesting to give up on. Too interesting to throw away. Instead of being swayed by life and not having a place, have a place you belong. Be interesting.

Be interesting so you have an identity

3 Things to Know about an Anxious Partner

  1. When triggered, they can become emotional. They grew up in a house where their feelings were invalidated and ignored. They just want to be heard, they aren’t putting you down.
  2. When they text a lot and demand constant communication, they are scared of being alone. And abandoned. which they experienced in childhood. They are just seeking reassurance. they’re not trying to control you.
  3. They might subconsciously pick fights with you and push your buttons. This was the only way they could get attention as a child. And so they do this to be more connected with you emotionally. They are seeking emotional connection. They are not trying to hurt you.

If these traits trigger you, it’s possible you have avoidant attachment, which has a whole bag of problems as well.

This video shows us how as you grow up, the people you rely on who seem perfect turn out to be not as perfect as you thought. So you need to learn to accept flaws and be OK with how things are.

Life is about Life. Suffering and Happiness are both a part of life. Life isn’t just one or the other.

Splitting is a Psychological defense mechanism of turning someone into an all bad or all good person. Cancel culture and Identity politics is based on this concept where someone is fully defined by one detail and instead of viewing a person as having both healthy and unhealthy parts, your own ego decides whether they are good or bad based on whether they serve your ego or threaten your ego. So catch yourself when your Ego turns you into a defensive person who is splitting someone else’s identity unfairly.