Category Archives: Life Lessons

The Lifeguard Rule

Life Advice, Life Lessons, Thoughts On Life

The life guard rule states that if the person you try to save is pulling you down and you realize you are both going to drown, then the right thing to do is to escape from that person and let them drown while saving yourself. If you stay, there are two deaths. If you leave, there is one death.

This is a great guiding principle for life in general. Do your best to help others, but if you’re going to die trying, do not die trying.

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“If it’s you drown or us both drown then it’s you drown.”

Life Lessons from Oprah

Achieve Success, Life Lessons

“Expecting people to do what you would do in a situation only leads to your disappointment, not theirs, they’re going on in their life.  So let people be who they are and either you accept it or you don’t. The person on the other side of the bitterness you are holding onto are not even thinking of you. They probably just moved on. They certainly aren’t obsessing like you are. Letting go of any bad habit that isn’t serving you: not an easy road. Taking the road to more enlightened healthy existence never is.  

Ask yourself: Why are you holding onto this? How is this serving me? Maybe it makes you feel validated, feel righteous, or maybe taking on the pain is your way of recognizing the injustice so that even if it’s not going to be made right at least it won’t be forgotten. 

Do you want to be right? Or do you want to have peace? The unfortunate fact is having both may not be possible. You may never get your moment of righteousness so choose peace. Time is always moving on and is our most valuable commodity. So staying in that loop of playing it over and over only amplifies your pain. Let it go. Lighten your load. “ – Oprah

Difficulties:  Don’t ask “Why is this Happening” and instead ask “What is this here to teach me?” “What is this here to teach me?”  It puts you in the lace to get what you need. Don’t react against a bad situation, merge with that situation instead and the solution will arise from the challenge.  

Choose Carefully Who You Share Your Story With

Life Advice, Life Lessons, Life Skills, Relationships

I want to be understood, so I try to build genuine authentic relationships based on the full truth of my life. Doing so has gotten me deeply hurt because I opened myself up. I’ve learned to be selective with who I share my full truth with, and I advise you do the same.

After many years, I’ve learned some people consistently respond nicely, some people respond based on the mood they are in, and some people always respond rudely. Some people can be trusted with the information, and some people will use that information to hurt you with it.

To protect yourself, don’t share your inner most stories with people who don’t deserve to hear it.  When I tell it to the wrong person and they invalidate me and criticize and attack me and take the other side, it hurts me deeply and causes me much mental and emotional anguish which I can avoid by not telling them the story.  Keep track of how they have responded in the past and if they consistently hurt you, do not reach out to them again.

Choosing the right person to open up to is especially important in a time of need. Don’t set yourself up for failure and pain by trusting the wrong person at the wrong time. Learn to protect yourself and keep your story to yourself. Accept the world as it is and act accordingly. 

I used to want to believe that the world was a safe place. I used to want to believe that people were good. I used to want to believe that I could make the world a good and safe place by acting as if it was. I realize now that is living in denial and causing me self-harm. The facts and data show the world is not safe and there are people who are not good, so to ignore this is to live in denial. Living in denial, opening up myself to people who are hurtful to me just harms myself, and self harm is not good.

In conclusion: be selective in who you open up to. Find the good people over time and hold onto them.