Category Archives: Life Advice

Defeat Laziness with Logic and a Desire for Happiness

Life Advice

Laziness, Indecision, or Fear often keeps you from doing what you want and being happy.  Most of the time, it can be worked out with logic.

Let’s say you want to go on a hike.  However, you are too lazy to pack, you don’t know which trail to hike, and you’re afraid you’ll meet a bear, so you don’t go.  Instead, you fill your time and life with second-best options, and are not as satisfied.  Now you’re dissatisfied with your life.  Let’s say you want to be satisfied with your life.  OK, what do you need to do: pack, pick a trail with no bears, and go hike.

If you reduce your laziness into two logical choices. 1. be lazy and less happy, or 2. be active and more happy, then you can bring perspective into the situation, and the answer becomes clear to the question: Which do you want?  If laziness brings you happiness, then your logical choices are 1. be lazy and more happy, or 2. active and less happy; and again, you can pick the one you want.

Some further comments are: don’t feel bad for choosing to be lazy if that’s what you want to be.  It’s a free country.  However, if you feel bad about being lazy, then you need to realize the reality of your situation, and face your logical choices and choose the one you want.

Timescales

Staying Grounded

Time is a great way to put things in perspective.

In Relationships:  If I have a doctor’s appointment from 11AM to 12PM, I’m busy. If I don’t answer you, I’m not ignoring you, I just have stuff to do. So if I don’t see you for a day or two, it might be just we both had stuff to do. The more busy we are, the harder it is to line up schedules, so I might not see you for a week. If people are that busy, it might time to plan something to ensure, if you want to, everyone can meet up.  Sometimes, plans don’t work because emergencies happen. I only get worried about the relationship when either the excuses to not meet up are fake, or there’s no desire to meet up. As long as those two things aren’t true, then I don’t worry about the relationship: the relationship is fine, it’s just that life is getting in the way.  With patience and time, you will meet again.

In Failure: Just because I failed today, doesn’t mean I will tomorrow.  Everyone makes mistakes during the learning process, with patience and time, you will improve your chances for success!

In Regret: Another opportunity will come

Needs vs. Wants

Depression, Staying Grounded

I want the new *item* so much, I need it.  I want to see a movie so much, I need to.  In our everyday conversations, we often exaggerate our desires with the word “need,” but sometimes we forget that it is in fact an exaggeration and not the truth.  When that happens, when you lose sight of  the difference between what you need, and what you only want,  you create a warped reality that may cause depression, or at least keep you from thinking clearly.

What is an actual need?  It is something without which you cannot live.  You need food and water.  Shelter, is a want–you can survive without it, but we all would prefer to have it.  Money, power, , these are all wants: your life may be different with them, but without them, you will still live.

I bring this up because it interfered with both my decision making, and my mental health (happiness).  I have many interests, and I had been feeling extremely stressed and overwhelmed by the activities I was involved in, and all the trade-off decisions that I kept making to try and fit everything in, because I felt like I needed to fit in as much as possible.  Once I took a step back and realized that these were all hobbies and not critical to my life, I no longer stressed over the activities because if I fail at something I just want, it’s OK: I’ll live.  By knowing what activities are actually necessary, like my job, I can feel more secure in my free time knowing I have all my needs taken care of.  I can allow myself to be happy about doing things I want, instead of being stressed at all the things that I want to do but aren’t able to.

Other examples include sacrificing sleep for time for any reason.  Eventually, we all realize the truth that we need sleep.  We can reduce sleep, sure, but only up to a point: past that point and we begin threatening our well-being with the effects of sleep deprivation.  One dangerous result of sleep deprivation and insomnia is depression.  In fact, what I’ve found is that the best cure for a bad day is a good night’s sleep.