Category Archives: Thoughts On Life

Unique and Interesting Observations or Perspectives

Circumstance

August 21, 2015Context, Life Advice, Mental Health, Thoughts On LifeSolomon

From Latin words Circum meaning around and Stare meaning stand. Around where you stand. That which is in your vicinity.

Circumstance is the word of my life right now, because my circumstances are changing, and as they do change I ponder the juxtapositions.

Circumstances are interesting because at some point you accept them and stop changing them, and at other points you stop accepting them and start changing them. And the only difference between the two approaches is what is within you, within the mind, within the person. The circumstances haven’t changed: With the same circumstances one person can accept it and not change, and another can reject it and change it.

It is easy to say that circumstances define the person in the sense that circumstances constrain and mold the person, but from this experience I have learned: No, circumstances define the person because the person chooses the circumstances they’re in.

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Coursera Negotiation Notes

May 14, 2015Thoughts On LifeSolomon

I took a class on Negotiation from Coursera and I found it very helpful. Below are my notes from the course.

Categories of Negotiation: Power, Litigation (3rd party arbitration), Arbitration, Mediation (3rd party negotiation), Negotiation, Avoidance

When Negotiating, Be Sure to Ask for Authority: Explicit, Implicit, Apparent. Does the person you are negotiating with have the authority to execute what you are negotiating?

Get Authority from the Principal, not the Agent of the Principal. The person negotiating with you will be able to say they have authority, but you only know for sure when you talk to the person who owns or controls the item(s) of interest.

Fraud (A false representation of a matter of fact that is materially relied upon), Fiduciary, Unconscionable

When Negotiating, these are Pitfalls to Avoid:

Mythical Fixed Pie Assumption
Anchoring
Overconfidence
Framing (more risk averse when choosing between positive options, more risky when choosing between negative options)
Availability
Escalation (Competitive Arousal)
Reciprocation
Contrast Principle
Big-Picture Perspective: Don’t get lost in the details

Agreement validity (what it takes for the agreement to be valid under the law)

There must be consideration: both sides must give up something (in common law countries, not necessary in civil law countries but good to just in case)
Legality
In CA, non-compete for 1 year contracts are illegal and unenforceable

Parol Evidence Rule: Once the agreement is in writing, only what is in the writing will count, nothing discussed before/prior/considered. Therefore, get everything in writing.

Implied in contract of food sale is that the food is not spoiled; can take back to grocery stores for replacement or sue

If the relationship is long term, then you can have a shorter contract so that you can be more flexible with each other; if the relationship is short term, then you should have a longer contract to specify all terms

Life Goals Analysis (to think about before negotiations)

To complete this analysis, ask yourself: How does this dispute (or deal) relate to my goals in life? When preparing your list of life goals, consider the following possibilities:

Family goals. Do you want to spend more time with your family? How will you spend that time?
Leisure goals. What do you enjoy doing when you aren’t at work?
Retirement goals. When do you plan to retire and what will you do during retirement?
Financial goals. What are your financial plans and how will you achieve them?
Business and career goals. Do you have any plans to start a business or move to a new job?
Relationship goals. Do you anticipate any changes in your personal relationships?
Service goals. Any plans to increase your community service?

http://negotiationplanner.com/ – Course inspired Website / App

Other Resources

http://blog.codetree.com/articles/what-its-like-buying-a-128k-side-project.html

Google: sales tactics for budget is cut: https://www.sandler.com/blog/how-do-you-respond-to-your-clients-budget-objections

This post is part of AttemptedLiving’s Life Education Curriculum, a collection of core knowledge everyone should have.

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Don’t Mistake Entitlement for Unfairness

February 4, 2015Context, Staying Grounded, Thoughts On LifeSolomon

“Life is unfair.” No it’s not: life is life, it follows its course. The world on its own has no concept of fairness or unfairness. Often times people feel the world is unfair to them because it doesn’t give them what they think is due to them. What they fail to understand is: the world doesn’t owe them anything. The world is not a conscious entity you interact with. Once you realize this, you can escape the “me against the world” fallacy and realize that the unfairness you might feel stems from the entitlement which makes you expect the world to give you things. Therefore the real problem is entitlement.

Concepts like “Deserve” and “Entitlement” and “Fairness” are human inventions, they are not a property of reality. Once you realize this, you can understand why the world doesn’t operate the way you think it should. Nature does not believe you deserve anything, nor does it believe you are entitled to anything. It doesn’t even acknowledge you exist. Expecting Nature to abide by your expectations is unrealistic, and calling that unfairness is an incorrect categorization. It is just Nature’s nature.

Not only is entitlement a wrong mentality to have for the world, but it is wrong to think that your view of entitlement is the right one. Because entitlement is a human construct it is subjective on all levels. What you deserve, when you deserve it, and why you deserve it changes based on who you ask. Some people believe you deserve respect, other people believe you earn it. Some people believe you deserve respect when you’re born, others believe it’s when you’ve reached a certain age, or proven yourself somehow, perhaps by surviving in [the wild/civilization] on your own. The ‘entitlement’ you have to things is therefore very contextual, varying from person to person, culture to culture.

Some people may argue that in a civilization there are objective laws which govern the land and when those laws aren’t upheld it’s unfairness. This too is wrong because laws and civilization are run by people, and the interpretation of the laws of the land is decided by the enforcing person’s world view, not yours. Therefore, you should not be surprised if the enforcing person’s view on fairness does not align with your view and if they act in a way that you disagree with. This is why there is no fairness on your terms in the world. This is why it is wrong to assume that because laws were written to be objective, the interpretation of said laws will be in line with your subjective interpretation of what an objective interpretation is.

You can overcome entitlement by changing your expectations. You should expect nothing from the world. The world works the way it does independently of you. If you stop expecting things in return, you can stop feeling the bitterness and resentment that stems from entitlement, and you can stop focusing on the unfairness and wasting your time and energy on a negative emotion that does you no good. Instead, you can invest that energy and time in activities that increase the likelihood of you achieving your dreams. Not expecting anything from the world is not the same as giving up on trying to get anything from the world: If you want something go and get it. All I wish to point out is that if you don’t get it, after you’ve put in a lot of work to get it, it’s not because life is unfair: life is life. Let go of entitlement, and replace it with appreciation for what you are given and do have. You will be happier this way.

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