Food Paralysis

Having more choices is often promoted as being a good thing, but wisdom teaches us that too much of a good thing can be a bad thing.  I would like to apply this idea to how we view our food in the kitchen.

It is fairly common to stock up one’s kitchen with a wide assortment of food options, with the expressed intent to prevent future dissatisfaction by addressing our every gluttonous desire ahead of time. What’s the harm of stocking an extra box of mac’n’cheese when I have the space?  It will save me the displeasure of one day wanting mac’n’cheese, and realizing I must take a trip to the store to buy it.  (My gosh, delayed gratification? Please, that’s so last decade.)  However, I feel like many of us to walk into the kitchen, and are overwhelmed by how many options we have.  There is the classic joke of people walking into the kitchen, being surrounded by food, and declaring “there’s nothing to eat.”

Furthermore, I often catch myself second guessing my food choice.  Since there were 100 options, the chances that I made the right choice are only 1 in 100, pretty low!  If there are only 5 options available, it is much easier to rule out a few options, making the odds of choosing “correctly” a lot better.

Therefore, to solve this food paralysis problem, I plan to stock my kitchen with fewer options for food, probably at most 5, so that the process of elimination goes quickly.  That way, I not only spend less time on my decision, but I an more satisfied with it as well.

A more detailed solution: Let’s assume that I just want to pick a protein, and a vegetable, and I have chicken and egg for protein options, and broccoli and carrots for vege options.  Instead of looking at my ingredients and thinking I have 4 options-chicken with broccoli or carrots, or egg with broccoli or carrots—I should pre-assign chicken to broccoli, and egg to carrots, reducing the number of options to 2.

The benefit seems minimal, but here’s how it scales: Let’s say one day your nutritional goal is to eat one serving each of protein, vegetable, carbs, and fruit, and you have 5 options in each category.  That means you could make a meal 5*5*5*5 = 625 different ways!  That’s way too many to think about every time you walk into a kitchen.  It’s easier to know that each option, say chicken, has already been assigned to say broccoli, rice, and apple, and deal with just 5 possible meals.  Less headache, less thinking, more eating, more enjoying, more living your life.

Parting thoughts: Unless you’re trying to become a chef, or you have a particular special occasion, there’s no real need to make the “best meal possible right now” or fulfill yourself with the “very best options” to “maximize happiness.”  We are pushed hard to get the very best all the time, but we forget sometimes that there is no “need” to get the very best, especially not all the time.  You’re hungry, just eat something and move on with your life.  If you want it to be special, then plan ahead of time rather than try to scramble to put something together when you’re hungry—if the meal was special to you, you would have (or really should have) planned ahead.

How to jump into Conversations: The Myth of the Right Moment

Often times, in conversations, I find myself waiting for the “right moment” to start talking.  Perhaps that means the perfect natural pause that the participants will somehow read my mind to know I’m looking for, and react to give me what I am hoping for.  Sometimes it’s the proper amount of time to allow for a topic or an emotion to settle down throughout the group.  Other times, it’s to follow an awkward silence, or just a normal silence—do I start right away? Do I pay tribute to the awkward silence in the form of a few more seconds before I have the right to start talking…oh but wait, now I missed the moment, the tempo is off! I need to wait another natural pause off the natural awkward silence to begin talking.

Then I noticed that when I talk with friends about non-serious topics, I ignore the idea of there being a “right moment,” and I just cut in or start a conversation whenever I feel like it.  There’s minimal “measuring the situation and group” involved.  And the conversation, the interaction, and the relationship proceeds successfully.  Therefore, I want to say that in most circumstances, there is no such thing as a “right moment,” so don’t over think it, and just start talking once you have something to say.  The best way to measure whether it’s the right moment or not is to watch the reactions immediately after, and handle the aftermath: once you know you can handle the aftermath, you will no longer be afraid to trigger them, and you will be freed from having to wait for the mysterious “right moment.”

Friendship: Drifting Apart

This year, for the first time, I spent Thanksgiving Thursday and Friday alone instead of going home and visiting friends and family like I normally would.  I chose to do this because I wanted to do some soul searching, without any external influences, and find out more about myself, so I could make some important life decisions.  On Thursday I finished my ~2 year project of sorting and processing my entire life up until today, and on Friday, I took account of my present, and mapped out my immediate future in relation to that reality.  However, while the purpose of this constructed isolation was to focus on me instead of friends and family, I ended up spending quite some time thinking about family and friends, and I realized that what I am thankful for this year, are the friends who missed me, and the friends I missed.  Here’s how I arrived at that conclusion:

While I was on my own, I would occasionally frequent Facebook, and browse through the Thanksgiving gatherings that showed up on my newsfeed, and I would wonder and reflect on my relationship with that group of people.  How we knew each other.  Why we drifted apart. What might have made things turn out differently.  But most importantly, I thought: over the last few days, some people have reached out, asking about when I’d return and if we’d hang out.  What drove those people to contact me, and the others to not?  Who are the ones I’m going to contact, and why them and not others?  The answer: those who miss me, and those I miss.

That train of thought led me to the topic of this post: of those people I miss and wonder how they’re doing, who can I comfortably contact again, and who has drifted far enough that it would seem out of the blue?  It is sad to think that former associates with whom camaraderie was had are no longer available for contact.  But it’s just part of life, that in our travels we will continue to meet more people, and the new friends we make will cause some old ones to slip away.  However, the silver lining in this is that that fact adds another dimension to how special the ones whom we can continue to connect with are, so I am extra thankful for the friends who can miss me, and the friends I can miss.

Gary Blauman – How I Met Your Mother Season 9 Episode 21 – “You will be shocked when you discover how easy it is in life to part ways with people forever.  That’s why, when you find someone you want to keep around, you do something about it. ” – Ted

Original Post

More on Friendship

To find out when more Life Education Curriculum is released, subscribe on the side! Follow on Twitter, on Facebook, on Google+, on Tumblr.  Please share your comments to this post below.