Being Alone on Valentine’s Day means You had the Strength to Say No to the Wrong Person – Solomon Wang
I recently had a terrible experience with an abusive and controlling and all around bad person. This person made my life miserable and I became progressively unhealthy, unpleasant, and unwell. As a result, I treated my friends and my family worse and worse, all because of this one bad person. I let this one person affect my whole life in a significantly negative way. I lost relationships I wanted to keep and hurt people who didn’t deserve to be hurt all because of the one bad person in my life.
All the negative emotion and negative energy and negative actions that I took with the people who were good to me in my life, I should have used on the person who deserved it: the bad person.
I also need to get better at tolerating terrible people in the world. It’s true that it’s good to avoid and run away from bad people, but it’s also true that there’s nowhere that doesn’t have them. And it’s very important to know how to handle them.
Stop waiting until extreme pain and discomfort to make changes and decisions. Make changes and decisions while comfortable and calm.
It’s too easy to stay in a safe and comfortable place and not move. Then only when you are uncomfortable you start making decisions and taking actions to change your situation, because you want to get back to comfort. The problem with this mindset is that you are always making decisions when you are uncomfortable. You will make better decisions when you are comfortable, safe, and with a clear mind.
It’s time to flip your behavior, and go against your natural instincts: When you feel uncomfortable, stay there and calm down before making a decision on what to do (within reason: if it’s unsafe, then get out. If it’s safe, then stay there). When you feel comfortable, make decisions on what actions you will take in future situations so your plan is sound. You will thank yourself for this one day.