The Nature of Relationships with People

Here are some important things to know about relationships.

Relationships have states, and that state can be based on time and context.  Time refers to how when you first meet, you are strangers, then you might become acquaintances, friends, close friends, like family, family.  Context refers to how at school you are a student, but at home you are a son or daughter, and in a club you might be president while at work you are an employee, etc.

Relationships have health, and the health behaves like a plant: it grows stronger if you water it, and weaker if you stop.  If you stop interacting with someone completely, the relationship has been suspended.  Sure you can resume the relationship, and if you are close enough friends, it will feel as though the relationship never ended, but the truth is that it did end for the duration that you were apart.  Don’t mistake a healthy relationship state (like close friend) for a healthy relationship health (traveling through life together).

Relationships take time and are not guaranteed: just because you want to have [deep] [meaningful] relationships, doesn’t mean you will get them quickly, or even at all.  You must wait and hope because it is out of your control.  It is out of your control because a true relationship is genuine: there’s only so much work you can do before you’re no longer true to yourself.

People Lie: Verify everything before accepting it as truth.  (Doing it too much is paranoia–focus on validating important information rather than everything.)  Fact checking “world facts” is easy with Google, but fact checking “people facts” is harder: be wary of gossip.  However, people have a right to privacy, and sometimes you don’t deserve the truth: it is not your right to know, so if someone lies to you, they may have good reason to–don’t force it out of them.  Example: Parents don’t want child to know the child was adopted.

See the Theory of What are Relationships? (add a like to this post to what are relationships?)

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