Here is a collection of tips that I found useful when recovering from abuse. Please comment below with any additional tips to share!

First recognize the state you’re in: you’re weak in every way.

You are not emotionally healthy enough to handle emotions because you’re emotionally weakened from the abuse you’ve gone through, so you’re likely to either be hurt easily by everything, or you’re likely to harden up and ignore or suppress any emotions you might feel. As much as possible, stay conscious of your emotionally weakened state, as it will help you make good decisions like avoiding confrontation/emotionally taxing events, or avoiding decisions that you normally wouldn’t make when healthy.

When you seek help, be selective and choose only people who make you feel better.  If someone doesn’t help you feel better about the abuse you’ve gone through, check if you have the energy to inform them. If so, do so. If not, end the conversation and try to find another person to help.  Most people are not trained to provide emotional therapy, so don’t be surprised if your friends and family fail to help.  Do make it known that you want help so that people can offer it to you and you can accept it if helpful.

Spend time on self care as much as you can.

Realize that you are likely to lapse greatly in this area, so do your best, but stay conscious of your progress and efforts at all times.

Health Checklist: I Feel Bad What Should I do?

Take your time, but also take as much action as you can bear.

A lot of people will tell you to ‘get over it’ and ‘move on’ and this is half helpful and half insulting so take it with a grain of salt.  The positive way of looking at these comments is that the intention is to help you feel better, it’s how they know how to show care for you. However, it’s often the case that their delivery is insensitive and hurtful, so ignore them if necessary.  Use them as a reminder that you should try as much as possible to take action, even if it’s a little bit. Get out of bed. Walk around. Shower. Wipe the table. Clear off the desk.  Read and clear an email or two.  Do something productive and take action.  And when you feel like you can’t do anything anymore, rest. If you need rest, take it.  When you’re ready, you can move on. When you’re ready, you can get over it.

Be honest with yourself on your recovery. Don’t let insensitive people pressure you to suppress your emotions before you’ve had the appropriate amount of time necessary to process them.  Take your time.

Do Things That Make You Happy!

Whatever it is, do what makes you happy until you can recover!

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