How to Listen Your Way to Healthier Relationships

Communicating Listening helps the other person feel listened to and valued, which deepens the relationship.
1. Memory — remembering what someone says shows you listened and you accept them for who they are because you still hang out with them after learning about them.
2. Questions — relevant follow up questions shows you’ve been listening, and that you’re interested in them, and that what they are saying is valued by you, so they feel valued.
3. Summarize — summarize what they just said shows you listened to what you just said and explicitly communicates to them what you heard.
4. Transitions — if you want to change the subject, acknowledge what they said first before you change the topic so they feel listened to. This is because
*Key Point* they cannot read your mind. So unless you communicate listening in some way, they have no idea if you heard what they said or not. So always always always communicate listening so that they know that you listened.
5. Don’t Cut Them Off — let them finish telling their whole story before you change the topic. Check whether they finished by pausing and watching their body language.

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