Hey! Welcome to another AttemptedLiving Post where we explore the topic of Disrespect to understand it better, and overcome it in our own lives. I find that I have difficulty respecting others and authority, and what follows is my research on the topic in my attempt to solve the problem for myself of being disrespectful.
This post is UNORGANIZED NOTES post. What this means is I’m posting my brainstorm, rather than a finished product. This isn’t even a draft, this is the brainstorm. I post this because too often I never find the time to make a draft or a finished product, but the research is still valuable to share for the world. So I hope you benefit from it:
turning the other cheek too often lets other people get away with bad behavior. it’s letting fear get in the way of standing up for yourself
at work, letting people bullshit for too long, finally stand up and confront publicly the bullshit. because you are right, you can win, and everyone else respects you for having stood up to the bullshit. Standing up makes you feel protected because you can defend yourself. stand up for yourself. Don’t need logical justification, situation is enough to defend.
Don’t go the other direction and attack first before asking questions, but it is important to know that it is valid to defend yourself.
all 20 are true for me
Being true to yourself
Disrespectful is necessary. It’s about actions that a person takes and thus reflects on the person and so people take it personally. as it should be. it’s about the person’s views of the world, and your agreement or disagreement with their world view. If there’s disagreement, there is disrespect. then it’s about balancing that conflict
The key point is that disrespect is necessary.
Don’t be TOO picky and judge everything. Don’t let your standards be outrageous. DOn’t over do it
Understand Live by the tautological watchwords “If I were you, I’d be doing exactly what you’re doing.”
Localize the problem as much as possible: scope what you’re disrespecting to as small as possible. not the whole person attack.
The saying, “Don’t fight with a pig, you’ll just get dirty and the pig likes it,” is a great reminder that if you can walk away, you should.
Not being disrespectful can be disrespectful too. Not conveying your disrespect can be as disrespectful as conveying it. When you humor people, you’re disrespectfully treating them as incapable of handling your disrespect.
I am reminded of a co-worker telling me I should speak up more in work conversations. To stand up for my self more and elaborate on what I think instead of being afraid to contribute or debate.
also all true. I need to cut people like this out of my life instead of putting up with it.
This and the conversation with a friend about how he’s stressed about spending $40 when he could earn more or he has $300,000 in the bank already. Made me realize I was him: I used to think I can’t spend, until I realized I don’t have to fear spending because I can earn it back and figure it out
This video made me realize that the reason I don’t believe in my dreams is because I surround myself with people who failed to achieve their dreams. so they shove the negativity into my mouth that I can’t achieve what I set out to do, that i am not as good as I believe I am. And I let the weight of the shame of my mom and parents for me giving up a safe and secure road because I want to achieve greatness. I keep clinging onto the demand to having a huge savings to be safe before I embark on the journey, instead I can say: I don’t need money to be safe. My mind, Myself, My abilities, are enough to keep me safe in the face of whatever life has to throw at me. I don’t need a big bank account to be safe
Also watching the James Bond movie last night, and realizing that the purpose of money is to dominate and control the will of others. to buy respect with money, paying for respect. that’s fake respect. that’s fake service. you’re paying for it. That’s not real. It’s sad to think that enslavement of that kind is what people pursue.
I think about how the rich person will brag about their car to the poor doorman. and the doorman MUST act impressed, they have no other choice, it’s better for their life and job to be impressed. And yet the rich person knows it could be fake but craves it. And if the rich person brags and the doorman is unimpressed, you can bet that the rich person’s ego is so fragile that the self esteem would be crushed and the respond of anger would be to execute power and get that doorman fired or hurt. and drive pleasure from domination of others to avoid accepting the weakness of yourself.