Category Archives: Mental Health

Overcome Illogical Thoughts of Insecure People

Social Anxiety

If someone doesn’t like me, it means they dislike me.  No, it just means they don’t like you: whether they dislike you is a separate question.

If something went wrong or someone was feeling bad, it must be my fault.  No, you’re not the center of everyone’s lives: other things are at play.

If people don’t invite you, it doesn’t mean you’re banned–ask to go if you want to and it’s appropriate. (See 4 Kinds of Invitations)

If someone dislikes me, I am less valuable.  No, everyone has their own Self Worth (see What is Self Worth? and Who Am I?) independent from whatever worth other people judge you to have.

If someone dislikes, it means I’m unliked as a person.  No, it means that one person dislikes you, and it doesn’t make your entire existence unlikeable.  Is liking a fruit an objective truth? People are different, some like apples, others like oranges: liking people works the same way, some will like you, some will not, and that’s OK. (Watch the movie Wreck-It Ralph)

If I’m not perfect, I’m horribly imperfect.  No, there’s a range: you could make mistakes once a minute or once a day.  Don’t let one mistake feel like many mistakes, and don’t let mistakes in general make you feel imperfect: everyone is imperfect, not a big deal.

More advice: Common Relationship Mistakes

To find out when more Life Education Curriculum is released, subscribe on the side! Follow on Twitter, on Facebook, on Google+, on Tumblr.  Please share your comments to this post below.

Dealing with Peer Pressure

Social Anxiety

Be true to yourself: If you don’t want to do it, don’t do it.

They may judge you for it, let them.  What does it matter if they judge you?  If they are your friends, they’ll accept you anyway.  If they are rational people, they’ll accept you anyway.  If someone likes oranges but not apples, are you going to peer pressure them into eating apples?  Why?  They are entitled to their own preferences.  Whatever you’re being pressured to do is the same thing: if you don’t want to, don’t do it.

However, if everyone there is doing it, and they aren’t welcoming to you, then perhaps you don’t belong there.  Don’t mistake this for a lack of self worth (see Common Misconceptions about Self Worth).  If you’re on a basketball court with people playing basketball, don’t read a book: get off the court.  The time and place sets the activity: come back in an hour when there’s no-one playing basketball, and you are free to read a book on the court.

At the same time, don’t invent rejection: if there is no reason to believe that you aren’t wanted there, then it’s fine for you to stay! The only question is if you want to.  Here’s an article on how to avoid Fears Due to Imagination

Overcome Irrational Fears due to Imagination

Mental Health

The human mind is extremely good at simulation.  You can think of something, imagine it being real, and then experience it as if it were real, feeling all the emotions and having all the physical responses as if it were real.  While this is great when you’re in control of your imagination and using it for a purpose, it is frightening when your imagination runs wild and controls you.  Often times an irrational fear is when an encounter with something you fear triggers your imagination to take over, and all you can think about or feel is all the things that could go wrong or that you can imagine happening that you don’t want to happen.  What you need to do is take control of your imagination to avoid the problems that arise when you are not in control.

Instead of letting your imagination run wild with no explicitly stated goal, focus it.  Why are you imagining things, what do you want to accomplish?  If you find yourself constantly scared by the horrible things you imagine could happen, be self aware and realize that you have subconsciously decided to imagine all the things that could go wrong.  Instead, re-define the goal to be to imagine possible outcomes without bias, and make a clear level headed decision (Decision Making Rich vs. Poor).  Better yet, imagine all the ways it can go right!

Furthermore, apply the lessons from the article Lost and Found to your fears.  Simulation and Imagination have great power, and “with great power comes great responsibility.”

To find out when more Life Education Curriculum is released, subscribe on the side! Follow on Twitter, on Facebook, on Google+, on Tumblr.  Please share your comments to this post below.