All posts by Solomon

Human Nature – Splitting

Human Nature

Learning Human Nature will give you skills to protect you from harm and to empower you for success in life with other humans.

One skill that can help you is recognizing when someone is using Splitting. Splitting is a defense mechanism. Splitting is when someone calls you good OR bad instead of seeing you as good AND bad. The reality is, no-one is all good and no-one is all bad, but when they call you all good or all bad, this is a problem. Saying that is equivalent to saying you serve my ego (you agree with me and therefore are good) or you challenge my existence (you disagree with me and therefore are bad).

When you meet someone like this, know that this means they are insecure. Treat them like a 7 year old and calm them down like you would a child. Then try to talk to them after they are calm, or just let go and move on.

Self Worth

Mental Strength

How much is my life worth?

People will value you based on their point of view, their level of information, and their belief in you.

Just like if you take a piece of bread and you walk around and ask 100 people how much it is worth, everyone will give you a different price based on their own perspective. They might be hungry and willing to pay for bread, or they might be allergic to bread and unwilling to pay, or they might be making a sandwich and missing a slice of bread that you perfectly can provide and be willing to pay a lot. Each of these people will value you differently.

Do not let a few people skew your view of yourself.

If you find someone who encourages you and treats you better than you think you are worth and pushes you to do more, then don’t let this person go. That is a precious treasure for someone to see more in you than you see in yourself. Keep the people in your life who increase your sense of self worth.

Protect Yourself When Traumatized

EndTheStigma, Life Lessons, Mental Health

Do not trust anyone with your trauma. When you are weak and sick and ill, there are cruel people who will take advantage of you or derive pleasure from hurting you. Avoid these people.

Do not share your emotional injuries with people who don’t believe you. Give them once chance. If they are skeptical and they think you are attention seeking or lying or making it up, leave them. 

Find someone who will listen to you and believe you and understand you and empathize with you and give compassion.

You are in a weakened state when traumatized. You want help, but you must face the reality that the world is not a kind place and you might not get the help that you need. If you do not face this reality, you will get weaker and weaker as people hurt you more and more.

Take responsibility for yourself by protecting yourself from the harm of others who are indifferent. Remember, these people are not personally looking for you to harm you. They just don’t care about you, and apathy is not active harm.

Find your close friends, your family members who historically have proven they make your life better, or call for support hotlines or use your medical insurance. Whatever you do, do not ask for help from people you cannot trust.